It's been a while..

Oh hi, blog?

Woww...it's been like, almost a year I leave this space. I'm pretty much alive and kicking, and I do exist in social media, except they are very brief (instagram, FB) and gosh, it makes me realize how much I love a very lengthy writing, which only blog can provide.

There are times when I feel like writing bunch of things, but privately. But then, I didn't because I feel that those things need to be shared cause it might benefit others? Even in the simplest word, who knows. And then, when the thought of writing public comes up, I back off because it scares me. I've observed for quite some time and thing has really change. Social media has become a scary thing nowadays. People tend to see the negative instead of the positive and there are lots of bullies out there. I am not scared of the bullies, it's just the negativity that is not worth it.

But then, I want to share, even though the stories seem petty.

Oh well, such a fickle minded.

So!

Here I am rambling again.

After some thought, I really feel that I need to blog. Oh, not need, but want. So, just do what I want as long as it brings good? That's my thought for now.


Somehow I feel writing feeds my mind. So, this will be a new start, and for a better one, insyaAllah! ;)

2015

My first entry in 2015.

I've been lacking, like a lot in writing stuff here.

Basically I just don't know how to write anymore as the blogging space seems too..vulnerable. At one time I feel like sharing stuff but at the same time, I feel not safe anymore.

Anyway, to kick the mojo, sharing you current song that touch my heart.

I'll write again, after my emotion is quite stable. In a few hours I hope! *sigh*

Reflecting

Just another random rant.

We've been married for 5 years now and I'll say we are doing quite well. Only that I've been feeling that my husband is not that fun anymore. I knowww right! How can you feel that?

I guess because both of us are busy juggling the family, with two growing up kids, our hands are quite full. But I always 'think' that my husband changed. To a boring man. Because I 'think' I am fun (so full of myself pffttttt). Couple of months ago, we were in fight and trying to cool it off, then we went to see some relatives and they have this congkak (you know, the traditional play thing), so I said

"Jom main!"

And he said, "no lah..my hands hurt"

And I blurt out, "You are no fun"

And he was taken aback (of course he is! I will too if I am in his shoes) and said "I'm serious, I hurt my fingers yesterday"

Okaaayyyy.

I know I was wrong..but I was just upset (we were in fight, remember) and I feel so bored.

Anywayyy...last night we were watching our honeymoon vacation to Japan in 2009 and guess what?

Oh myyyyyyyyyy I WAS SO FUN BACK THEN!

It was me who changed over the years and I have the cheek to think it is my husband! Ok, maybe he changed too, but look at myself! I've become a boring person too!!

In those videos, I was so chirpy and funny and interesting and yadayadayada. I still a fun person now, but not as much as I used to be.

Sigh. Time to reflects myself.

Now we are in a good terms, I don't think he is a boring person at all, it's just me whom being critical. And our priorities changed already..it's no longer about two of us. We still having fun in different kind of level and I will never trade it with anything.

Luahan di hari Jumaat

Just a short update to kick back my mojo to blog.

There are times when I feel so lost! And that will be past few weeks, hence that explains my silence. I just don't know what I want. At one time, I was so determined to quit the job and be a housewife because I can't face the drama every morning, traffic jam, Zahra crying wants her mommy, being late to work, etc. Sigh. It's too hectic for me.

Then after I calmed down, quitting is not a good option for now. I mean, I still need the money and whatnot. And as much as I miss my kids daily, I know other moms out there also feel the same. But I find it hard because everyday Zahra will cry about wanting me to stay at home. The only time she won't cry if I send her to school late, very late like at 9AM. And that means, I also will be late to work. Sigh. How I wish my work time start at 10AM so I can handle the kids (and the house) and don't have to bother my husband (we are carpooling now, so if I am late, so will he!).

So bothersome.

And talking about the house, it is such a mess nowadays. I still call the weekend maid but it's not enough. The house is super clean but I still have laundry and mountains of cloth to fold. It is never end.

Typical mommy's problem I guess.

Anyway I am much better now. Maybe I just need a 'me' time.

The Terrible 4

Just a little rant, today is already 10th Jan and I've pictured in my mind before that I'll start to write about wonderful things in 2014, my wishlist and whatnot. Flowers and sunshines.

But.. life is not like that. It's unpredictable and you can't have everything your way. So yeah, I started my 2014 with lots of mundane colors. The kids were unwell (they are better today, Alhamdulillah), Zahra refused to go to school and she will cry every morning saying "Zahra tanak mommy workkkkkk!!!", Emir been vomiting every day..not the serious one though, just when he cries because of the phlegm, both refused to eat (which I find very irritating and devastating at the same time). Sigh... I never imagine my first week of new year can be this challenging.

Ok...so after the stressful nights and the slapping incident, I decided to cool down and reflect myself. The kids didn't make it easier though. Zahra still crying crying crying most of the time. Not exactly crying..u know, merengek, buat bunyi aaaa..aaaa..aaaaaaa..macam menangis but not really crying. So irritating!! Every little thing tak kena. If MrComot makes her milk, she said tanak daddy buatttt..nak mommy buatttttt! Then after I buat, tanak panassss nak sejukkkk. Then after I sejukkan sikit, nak panas sikitttttttt. After dah panaskan balik she will say tak cukup tangannnn nak pegang botol susu. Haishhh u know la..it never ends.

But I grit my teeth, hold my breathe and do the slapping scenes in my head only. Not on her. I succeed so far and very proud of myself (haha! ok not funny).

Back to the main thing, I just found out that there are this condition called Terrible 4!!!! I never heard of it. I mean, terrible 2 ye la..but terrible 4 pun ada?

You’re neck deep in the 4’s.  It’s sound a bit ridiculous at first.  I mean how much grief could a pint size kid give you?  You quickly find out.  At the age of 4, children have developed enough speech skills to communicate what they want, and don’t want.

Suddenly your child, who used cry when they were unhappy and could be consoled with a hug or a time out, can talk back.  Those looks you’ve mastered are now falling onto blind eyes.  They are defiant, testing and smart! Books say that children at this age should be testing boundaries.

Full article can be found here: -http://negotiationboard.com/the-terrible-4s/

And yes, the hardest time will be when we parted at school. She will cling on my neck and refused to let go and cryyyyyyy and said "Zahra tanak mommy workkkk" repeatedly.

I reasoned, bribed, promised, threatened, semua tak jalan

Mommy have to go to work
Mommy tak payah pegi workkkk (wailing)
Kalau mommy tak work, macam mana mommy nak beli kinder surprise
Biar saja..Zahra tanak kinder supriseeeee (wailing)
Ok but we still need food to eat
Biar saja..tak payah makannnnn (wailing)
Nanti boss mommy marah
Biar saja...zahra nak duduk dengan mommyyyyy (wailing)
Ok Zahra you have option either I go nicely or I just leave u here just like that
Zahra tanak mommy pegi workkkkkkkk (wailing and pulling my dress)

Ada one time she hits me ok, because she was so disappointed. So now tell me, how am I supposed to go to work..happily :(

Anyway, the article knocked me some sense and I've been calmer ever since..no more raising voice, no more angry face, and no more hitting of course. There got some tips there. Go read it!

Ohh sometimes how I wish I just quit my job and stay at home with the kids. But..I'm not there yet. Maybe soon, 2-3 years time. Just a maybe though. Sigh..

Warming up...

I miss my blog soooooooooo much!! And my readers! *SLOPPY KISSESS TO YOU*. Ok, even if nobody reading my blog, but I miss you!

So many thing happen in these few weeks and how I wish I write those event earlier so I don't have this feeling "nak tulis, tapi dah lepas so macam malas but it too good to pass". Ok, I am indecisive like that. Always.

Anyway, just to warm up this blog and writing spirit before I continue my usual babbling, a recap on few things in my life. I've shared about it in my facebook so a few of you might know already about this.

 Sewn a mermaid tail for Zahra. I did a lot of sewing lately. Well, not that a lot, but it's quite a sum for a start hehe. Suddenly the sewing spirit come give me a visit :)

 Zahra with her princess sunglassess. 

Went to big bad wolf. This is my 3rd year in a row going there and I'm lovin it to bits!

 Made a no-sew tutu for Zahra and she's in love with it.

My most fav pic of all. Zahra sharing her corn with Emir.

I'm giving myself an instruction to write all the events. Well, it's gonna be my resolution for this time being. Ok, gotta pick my kids from the babysitter, see you soon!

Just another rant

Sedar tak sedar, dah almost 2 months I in confinement and am supposed to go back to work next Monday! Pitam. Plan to take unpaid leave tapi kelam kabut tak buat. And am using my annual leave now.

Well, nak hantar Emir to the babysitter pun dah ok now, he seems so big and tough. And he's fine with bottle feed, so settle satu masalah. But ada masalah2 lain pulak, like I haven't urut with k.Ain (for the last time before masuk kerja), Emir takde baju!!!!, Emir tak sunat lagi, etc etc.. sigh

We plan to sunat Emir mmg since baby, but dekat Tropicana takde dr laki muslim, so balik rumah ting tong ting tong tangguh until now. So now or never! Haha takde la never..now or tunggu nanti dah besar. I prefer now sebab I dont want to deal with drama nak menanges apa ke menda nanti besar nanti. And it's easily healed pun kalau time baby. So Emir baru 2 bulan, ok la..dia tak meniarap lagi, still can do.

And now kelam kabut call this hosp that hosp to check the availability. My gynea recommend Pantai (Dr Zain) and his charge is RM850!!! I never know it can be that expensive. Then I asked around, call again, at clinic around 250-300 je. So decided to do at clinic je, with dr Hamid Arshad. Dr Zain tu general surgeon, that's why mahal kut.

So settle satu hal, then urut nanti la..and beli baju..nanti la. Emir ada 4 helai sleepsuit je, and baju siang pakai je apa yg ada mismatch naju Zahra. Most of them dah tak muat, panjang jugak budak ni. So have to buy for babysitter. Skrg ni ok lagi as I can wash during the weekdays.

Oh ya, I use my annual leave balance for another week. So maybe hantar Emir to babysitter middle of Dec. Hopefully by then all settled. Anyway babysitter pun satu hal. She has to take care 7 kids now. Banyak kan.. MrComot cakap nak buat trial 2 months tengok Emir ok ke tak..sebab ada another baby there. And then lagi 2 bulan ada another baby. And next 2 bulan another baby!!!! Kebetulan semua yg hantar kat situ mengandung. So nanti ada 11 budak include 4 babies!! I dengar pun macam nak pitam. Tengoklah mcm mana. Kalau tak ok or kitaorg mcm tak sedap hati sgt, kena find solution lain :(

Terabai

Kesian Emir today, he woke up at 10am, then I layan2 kejap then I was so sleepy, and baring2 ngan dia, now he back sleeping, without mandi. I pun x mandi lagi, tak masak lunch lagi. Baru nak masak, the beef slice on the stove now, waiting for air kering.

Mood confinement dah ke laut. Dah boring pantang sorang2 :(

Ok...nak menyeru mood rajin kejap.


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Location:KD

Unfair

Just another rambling about my ptptn. I still dont have time to find the document, anyway according to them I owe them around 24.7k. Eeeii benci lah.

Anyway, this is unfair right? I mean, u terus block orang from going out to oversea (not that we want to move there) and have to pay FULL settlement. Anyone wants to make this as court case? Haha..MrComot said he's willing to pay for the cost, if there is a case and we can get a bunch of 'victims'. But I still have to read the fine print in the signed agreement.

Just a crazy talk.. ptptn is goverment, berani cari pasal? Hmmmm

Will update real thing later :)

Just another Monday blues

I miss my blog so much but I couldn't allocate few more minutes to write a decent update. Toooo busy bee since the Ramadhan started :(

Anyway below is my princess this morning, in her slumberland before I woke her up, in full bed-time suit hehehe. This is her all-time favourite sleeping pose - arms wide open.



She was soooo good last weekend, all giggling and entertaining. She learnt a few tricks on crawling and was excited all day long trying the moves. Kids, they grow up so fast. I so want to be full time hwife so that I can be with her all the time. Not possible for now..so wait up little one, save few acts for mommy tonight ok.

*sniffles*

Cheerry Friday

Still in cherry mode. Dropped by the SS2 pasar malam, yesterday after work and bagged myself a kilo! Hahhhh puas hati!

Actually I planned to buy half a kilo only but then being me, like to haggle, blurted out:

Me: 40 sekilo boleh?
Pasar Malam Guy: 45 lahhh..
Me: Ok lah sekilo!

Hahaha kannn..so do you save more or save less on sale? (saw this advertisement by NST). How true kan? Kalau dia tak discount I'll buy half a kilo only which is RM25. But I get at RM45 for a kilo! Hmm confused confused.

My one kilo cherry nyum nyum

Anyway I like this pasar malam better because if every piece is plump and juicy! If I buy the packed one, always got two or three not so good, lebam lah, buruk lah.


Have a cheeeerry weekend everyone!

Simple thing that makes me happy! =)

TGIF! And guess what? Zahra Elena going to be 6 months tomorrow! Can't wait to spend my weekend with little one! :D


Anyway I'm super duper happy because my today's fruits supply is a bit extensive! We dropped by SS2 pasar malam yesterday and bought a bunch of cherries, avocado, longan and buah nona! No more apples-pear-apples-pear-apples-pear everyday to me. Bosan ok! But I still can't take mangoes and guava because it is cold.

Oh ya, I take fruits everyday.. because MrComot cut it for me! Hahaha. Kalau I buat sendiri malas ok hmmmm.. But it does wonder to me. My bowel is not so good and always have constipation. After religiously gobbling fruits everyday, it gets better and better.

By the way, this is what I'm having today!

Fuji apples + cherries + golden kiwi + Anlene yoghurt

The cherry is so plump and juicy that it weights like less than 10 pieces per 100gram! Since it's in season, the price dropped to Rm5/100g! Last time I saw at MBG and Village Grocer is at Rm9/100!! Almost double ok!! But the cheapest cherries I ever got is at Petaling Street at Rm4/100g but that was like, 3 years ago? Hehehe.

(Ilot, cherry dah murah ni, uols mengidam lagi tak? I can buy for u :D)


In any case you are interested, this pasar malam is near to Kayu Nasi Kandar SS2 (sorry forgot to get the GPS node). Anyway it is a very chinese pasar malam but I didn't get the chance to check out the other stuff as I only stopped by at fruit stalls, so really don't know what else it has to offer.

But the fruits are very fresh and not to say cheap, but acceptable. I also note rambutans and mangosteen are in season. Mangosteen is at RM10 per 3 kilos, kira ok lah kan?

Simple thing that can make me happy = FRUITS! and icecream and books and and and.. later lah I fikir :P


Happy fruity tutti day everyone!

Blogs that I dig

Hi all, just short update as I have to do lots of thing today (ha ha ha poyo je) but yeah, nak basuh baju, sidai baju, sapu sampah and maybe bake something? just want to impress MrComot shhhhhhh ok, secret here :P

Anyway as promised before I already update the link section with few resources about mommyhood. Oppss..now talking about it, I forgot to include online shopping that I always visit (this one later la yer).

But basically about mommies + parenting + breastfeeding is there, under Supermommies and Natural Parenting. About cloth diapering and babywearing tak ada lagi since I haven't start on CD (shame on me!) and babywearing macam malas sebab Zahra dah besar and she's fine with the stroller hehe. Oh ya, daily clicks pun I add. Food section also updated, overall, on the right side will be all links that I read daily. Ada lagi banyak I read daily actually but this one fav among fav :)

I also add google search for my blog content (in any case it is useful to you) but still haven't try it yet. Hopefully it's accurate.

Ok will try to update again later. Daa!

Blogger new template

OMG! I already upload our Penang pics yesterday and about to post it today when I saw new template notice on the dashboard. Saja suka2 I click it and so surprised, it is freaking awesome!! Everything readied for u, nak kaler apa? nak design apa? nak template macam mana? 2 column? 3 column? And when u pick the color, everything is matched to ur posting, hyperlink, timestamps, etc. No manual change anymore!

Seems like Penang pics gotta wait. I want to play with the new setting first. Oh ya and it's free! Checkout your dashboard!

Planning and pening

Ohh how I miss my blog..but I've been very very very busy. Hmm not that busy actually but I can't really put myself to write. So many things in my head already.

Anyway the latest news will be Zahra nak kena sunat esok!!! Hmm takot ok. I dunno..this is my first time handling such situation and macam seriau sket orang utara cakap. Will she feels any pain? How much the doc going to cut? Hmm hopefully everything turn out good. Pray for her will ya?

And I'm planning Zahra's majlis kesyukuran on 2nd of May. It's not aqiqah but only more to makan2 thingy for family and friends to celebrate the newborn, at our house. Also not going to do the cukur jambul. Just makan2 and chill out :D It's going to be lunchtime. All are invited. To my friends yg dekat KL nanti I invite personally ok..but in any case I miss out, just beep me and jangan berkecil hati, manusia kan pelupa :) I'll give you the invite.

By the way, we only plan it in our head but still no action. Alang-alang ranting, I just jot down here so maybe can help me pushing myself to do it hehe

1) Catering - Decided but not confirmed yet. No payment made yet.
2) Canopy - Tak ada lagi!
3) Favours - On the way. Something really2 sweet. Nanti I post up
4) House - no deco, only need to borrow the carpets from aunty..going to do it on 1st May
5) Baju Zahra - Pakai apa yang ada je boleh? I don't think I have the time to find nice dress for her.
6) Baju mommy and daddy - Baju kurung and baju melayu yg sedia ada. But it's so buruk already and tak ikut tema. Worst come to worst we pakai baju nikah boleh? Hmm..
7) Finger food - ordered from MamaFami
8) Invites - Belum jemput anybody formally, even the family! Gotta do this fast!
9) Table and bekas makan for side dishes - Tak beli/fikir lagi
10) Flowers - On Saturday I cari kut. Worst come to worst no flower la huhuhu

Hmm what else? Tell me eh kalau ada apa2 I need to add.

And looking at the list, OMG I only siap 2 out of 10. Dah la yg penting2 macam catering ngan canopy tak book lagi. Ok by today I must take out few items from the list. MUST!!!

Tired tired tired

Zahra much better today. No more crankiness, alhamdulillah. But now mommy pulak yang cranky sebab penat sangat. Dah dua malam she poops at 3am while feeding. Normally kalau dia berak pun, during sleeping I tak sedar, so tunggu pagi je la basuh. But these nights, during I was about to pump la, to feed her la..so macam tak sampai hati nak paksa dia tidur without clean it first. After cleaning + feeding it's already almost 5. And the thing is, her poop and fart stink! Like seriously. Tak pernah busuk macam tu ok. In fact I had to change her pant as well even though tak kena kat seluar, but the bau melekat! Punya la kawwww. For the first time jugak I had to hold my breath when I clean her ha ha ha

My babysitter cakap it's normal for breastfed baby, because it's depending on what mommy eat. Hmmmm makan apa yer smalam? Makan udang sambal ngan kangkung goreng. Busuk ke?

Oh ya..just a rant here.. I am so tired that my muscle rasa sengal2 macam nak demam tu. Otak pun macam active separuh je..

Wow You

I have been reading xiaxue's blog since ages, not that ages but became avid reader when she had this fight with DawnYang. Anyway, she's just gotten married and everything is sponsored! EVERYTHING! Except the ring. Now that's not my point. My point is, the wedding is FABULOUS and CIAO! They had this Mafia Italian theme and gosh.. how I envy her. I always like something themed. You know, like throw a costume party or specific themed dinner.

Anyway, do browse her blog and feast your eyes.

Ps: Thing is a bit hanky-panky, send Zahra to babysitter, early morning, traffic jam, workload, etc. Going to update soon.

Zahra on random

Zahra got her second jab (the tripple antigen) last Friday morning and she's been crying the whole day on and off. Zahra memang macam tu, after event pelik2 mesti traumatized, just like the 1st jab (I'm gonna write about it later, it was at Klinik Komuniti Ibu dan Anak). This 2nd jab is at private clinic bcause we don't have time to go to the gov clinics. Anyway, when I said traumatized, macam ni..dia tgh tido elok2, tiba2 muka dia jadi sedih while her eyes is closed and then crying her lung out. Then I have to pujuk2 her and pat her saying stuff like "Why sayang...doctor tu buli sayang ye..doctor tu cucuk sayang kuat yer..nanti mummy pegi marah doctor tu" then she will mumbling stuffs while cebik2 macam nak mengadu something.

It's funny somehow but at the same time is tiring because she will only sleep for 5mins max, then repeat the tantrums. Maybe actually dia rasa tak sedap badan, I don't know. Anyway it only last for a day, thank God.

But yesterday got another thing pulak. She vomit out after being fed and it's a lot, like 2-3oz mcm tu (haha I teka je) but seriously a lot and mcm waterfall ok everytime dia vomit. But then she seems healthy, I mean no tantrums, no crying, movement pun ok, so really don't know why she vomits like that.

Have to monitor her today.

Talking about taking care of her, this week gonna be my last week staying at home with Zahra, next Monday already keja huhuhu. We already met the babysitter, somewhere in Pantai Dalam. The babysitter looks ok, hopefully everything goes smoothly. And now the perasaan nak jadi housewive membuak2 ok. I think all first-time-mothers will feel the same. It's hard to trust other people to take care our first child kan? How I wish we can afford to be single parent working only. I'm more than delight to be DOMESTIC GODDESS. Hahahaha.. Hopefully it's only temporary feeling. But I plan in 3 years time I'm gonna be DG. So better start something from now. But what? Hmmmm

Below is 2 diff pic of Zahra randomly picked

This is the face when she cries. After mandi, tak sabar2 nak susu.

This is the face when she's all calm and contented.

Don't you think so looks like a boy sometimes? Haha whatever la sayang..just grow up healthy and be a great khalifah Allah will ya?

Oh ya, shes 61cm, 5.2kg at 7 weeks. Dah tak larat nak dukung huhuhuhu

Sleepy Monday

After 3-days break, I am so schleeeepyyyyyy......

crazy mommy on the runaway

I wannt to do a lot of thing now, like everything at one time! Can or cannot? Most of them just a knick knack that can be done in few hours (or minutes!) if I am determined enough. The thing is.. my belly feels so heavy and I am having braxton hicks like all the time, and I don't have the mood the do all the stuff except lie down on the bed staring at the ceiling *sigh*

But I want to rant btw..so this is what I feel I need to do before my baby pop-out!

1) Update blog about my Japan trip

2) Activate my twitter so I can tweet during confinement. Already registered but am passive.

3) Revamp my blog, like seriously! The 'what's with andes now' pun tak update2. It supposed to be 'Andes is having a baby' pic instead of the holding-hand-tie-knot-thing. It is more than a year ago! *sigh*

4) Buy something for MrComot's birthday. His birthday is this coming January and I have nothing yet. It has to be NOW because if I can't get it now, I won't get it at all. Will be extremely busy with the baby and all. I know that gift is unnecessary as I'm giving him a baby (LOL) but that what makes me more itchy to give something - when he expects the least hihihihihi. I loveeeee to surprise my babyyyyy. Ok, enough of gedikness. Btw, I already have something in mind, but it needs a lot of effort and I don't think I can commit. How how how howwww

5) Do some painting for living hall

6) Do 'cutie-monster' painting for family hall

7) Sew owl pillow

8) Bake orange cupcake because the butter is already expired, like a month ago? And it is an expensive Lurpak butter. So I HAVE TO BAKE something.

9) Bake choc chip cookies because I actually have 2 expensive butter expiring! Don't worry, all for me and MrComot's consumption.



OK..I think I'll go mad thinking of the things I want to do.