When Love embraces the Rage

MrComot and I had a big fight over a small thing last night. Both of us are hard-headed. So jgn harap la ada adegan pujuk memujuk while we are fighting. I believed I am right, so does he. That's why it always end with emotional sms.

But last night is the worst ever. He being sarcastic like hell and I was so furious that I said, 'Don't you be sarcastic bitch' that made him explode and he hang up! We never hang up on each other in our fights history. The fight continued via sms. Both of us were hurt and I just hate it so much that I end it with

"...... don't find me for a few days. Me hate you."


My general of thumbs while fighting, never, never say you hate your partner because you may think you hate him, but you will regret it very much later. At first I couldn't believe what I typed but it just burst out and I couldn't hold it anymore.

Being the ego of me, I pretty much want to keep my word, on don't find me part. So I laid out my plans of "can't be reached". Since he is on leave on Monday (which is today), I planned to go to the office, settled my things, then take emergency leave for a week and gone missing. I just want to hurt him so much (although I know it hurts me the same).

On the afternoon, I was restless already. Part of me want to make peace but the bigger part of me let him get me first. He is having funeral thingy (his uncle died) and make me feel a bit unfair to me because he got something to be occupied with and even if he thinks of me, it won't be as much as I do.

I hate this situation when I am mad at him but yet, I miss him much.

It is just in time when I had a little chat with Cool and put little here and there, these words knock my sense off:

cool (6/23/2008 1:16:04 PM): so baik aan beralah jer
andes (6/23/2008 1:16:08 PM): hmmm
cool (6/23/2008 1:16:13 PM): so nanti dia tmabah2 la sayang

Terus lembut hati.


Ikut hati mmg I nak gaduh lama-lama biar dia rasa sedih missing me for a while, but it will hurt me too. Then I thinking why we should waste the time to be in the sad state just to feed the ego kan? If you have choices to be happy, you are a fool not to pick it.

So I bagged all the strength I had and sms him:

"Sayang, I'm sorry for last night. How everything going? Ur mom ok?"

Then, came the reply and made me almost cry.

After a while, we had a small chat, discussing why I did all the stupid thing (I am a confronting (is this right?) person, even he already said sorry selagi I tak puas hati, I will ask why and discuss, which, one of my ex's take it as nagging. Hey you! :P).

After that little chat, I received one long sms from him.

"Sayang, u are the best thing that ever happened to me. Mmg me am lost n weng2 without u. Sayang sudi kan to be by my side, this immature thalasaemmia boy. Me dunno what u see in him, but he sees everything in u"


First thing that came across my mind - sweet talker! But I know he meant it.

Whatever it is, I'm glad I made the first move to pujuk him ;)



p/s: He has talasemia. It is a genetic thingy. Thank God he is only minor. If you guys tgh bercinta, go do blood screening. If both have it, it will be dangerous for your kids.




.