Crying baby

My entries will still be about Zahra Elena. I have another 'non-baby' entries but cudn't write about it as my lappy can only dload pics frm my handphone via bluetooth. Kalau pakai cable camera terus hang! So dengar je la pasal babies sampai muntah :P

We still having problem coping with this budak kecik. Because she refuses to sleep at night! Kalau tak tidur tapi tak nanges takpe la jugak but she always merengek2..so I don't really know what to do. During the day ok la pulak, everytime after I feed her, zasss terus fall asleep.

We tried everything we could during the night including over fed her! That was the worst night ever la. That night we thought she was hungry so we keep on giving her milk (direct and bottle) sampai kembung2 and in the end she fell asleep but maybe after too tired of crying. The next day she pooped like nobody business, memang terlebih makan! My poor baby, sorry mommy didn't know! So now we know her pattern a bit, she will keep on latching everytime you feed her if she feels uncomfortable. It's like she finds comfort via drinking! So it's quite tacky to know either she's really hungry or just feeling cranky. But I did it last night!

Concidently one of the relatives came for a visit and gave us this book as a gift.

Thank you uncle Udin & Auntie Mimi!

It's a very good book indeed. There is no manual in raising a child but the guidance is there and you have to have faith in yourself. Like the tips below:

Taken from crying section. Click for larger view (sorry the word is not that clear but still readible, using handphone :( )

I read this section last night at 5AM while pumping my milk (oh do you know that you'll get more milk from 12AM - 6AM because prolaktin hormone is very high that time) and after that Zahra suddenly cried, so I tried the #5 tip.

Have confidence
Your level of confidence in your parenting skills affect the way you handle your baby - she can sense when you are unsure and tense. So tell yourself that your techniques for soothing her will work. Be positive.

Normally if she wakes up at weird hour I will simply stuff her with my boobies and get tensed because I know she isn't hungry. In the end it will take me more than one hour to soothe her back to sleep. So last night, I know she wasn't hungry because I already fed her around 4AM, so confidently I just lift her a bit and ask her "Why sayang? Sayang rasa tak selesa ke? Mommy change tempat tidur ok", change her position of sleeping, tuck her back in the blanket, sing her 'twinkle twinkle little star' while patting her chest and guess what, she's back sleeping! In less than 5 minutes! Wahh mak impress ok. With myself LOL.

And another thing about her, she doesn't like her cot! Penat ok mommy and daddy pegi beli, siap pegi warehouse lagi, tanakkkkkk tido dalam tu. She will make noises and will only stop when we place her on my bed. I guess she loves mommy's smell. Maybe we can train her later, to be in the cot.. For now bagi dia chance dulu to manja-manja with mommy.

The deserted baby cot

Her #1 fav place - next to mommy.

I love love love to have her by myside but scary a bit la..in case I terpenyek dia ke..tertido atas tangan dia ke..haishhh mintak simpang.


Her #2 fav - at living hall on her kekabu mattress, on the floor

Maybe she feels hot or stuffy inside the cot, I still have to figure out about that. For now, we need to tackle her sleepless night first.

So how's ur baby's pattern? Hopefully semua ok and if not, only one word that I can offer (including to myself) - SABAR ok :)

Baby, Welcome to this World

Finally, after so long I have the time to update bits about the delivery. Zahra is sleeping now and my wound pun mcm dah ok, so it's a bit comfortable to be in front of the laptop.

Oh ya before that, thanks for all the response about her name. So for now, I'll call her full name dulu, Zahra Elena, but if you guys datang visit nak call her Zahra pun ok ;)

Talking about name, actually yup, only Zahra got meaning (in Arabic). It's brilliant or bright. Elena pula I picked up from Catherine Zeta-Jones's character in The Mask of Zorro. It's a Greek name means the sun ray or shining light. Hehe ni mak dia punya gedik ok, so whatever la.

Ok, let's sambung from the previous entry, about how anxious I was waiting for the baby, I started to feel the pain on Sunday morning after Subuh (10/01). The pain is pretty mild and I'm not sure if I can call it contraction because it's more like period cramps to me. The only different is, it's timely and consistent. So I started making mental notes and google up about the pain. I also called up Dr Fidak asking her if I can take panadol menstrual! Haha so funny ok. Anyway she said I can take, but only 1 dose.

So I pop in the pill but the pain didn't go away, so I keep on looking some clues in from the internet and SMS mommies for hints. All of them said the contractions is like you having a very bad stomach ache but mine is very different, so I just keeping myself alert.

By noon, the pain is stronger but I was alarmed. Since no 'stomach ache' I just wait and keep myself busy. MrComot and I started to take it seriously. We time the pain when it reaches the peak and I started doing different thing to make sure it's real contraction, like walk every 10mins, stand when it's about to peak, lie down, etc etc. Then it's getting stronger by evening that I cried a few times and after Maghrib I decided to go to TMC.

My contractions sheet

Right after solat, we went straight to labour room and the nurse did vaginal checkup, telling me that I am 4cm dilated, and according to the CTG I am having irregular contractions, and I was admitted immediately, that was 8:20PM. I was given enema to flush out my colon.

The contraction getting more frequent (it's still like bad period cramps to me) and alhamdulillah MrComot gets to be by my side. It sure helps a lot as I keep on asking him with my body squirming and my face cringed in pain

"How much how much?"

everytime the pain peaked. I saw the CTG before and the normal peak is like 30-40 so when MrComot answered "It's there, 80 now, you are doing great!", I feel better.

The labour room

Around 10PM, my doctor arrives and she checked, I was 5-6cm dilated. So she breaks my waterbag. I was still concious that time and it feels like I am peeing non-stop. She also emptied my bladder using i-don't-know-what-is because baby is too low already and blocking it preventing me from urinate normally.

After the waterbag broke, the contractions become stronger and more painful. I was briefed by one of the midwives about pain medications like epidural and pentadine. I have to decide fast on the epidurial as they have to call anestetic while pentadine is a normal jab given in labor. The only thing that is holding me from taking any is because pentadine can only last 4 hours. So I was afraid the labour pain will go more than that huhu. But the midwive decided to give me one shot when she saw I am in stress, even my baby's heartbeat shoot up the roof - at about 170 per sec.

After the pentadine shot, I relaxed a bit (dia macam mengantuk sket) and baby's heartbeat back to normal. She also gave me laughing gas and I inhale like, thousands of time, not helping ok haha.

At 11.20PM I can't hold it anymore and have the urge to push and quickly shout at MrComot to call out for Dr Fidak. When she came, I heard that she said the baby is coming and everything is readied immediately. I can't recall how many nurses attend that time, about 3-4 kut.. They push the bed, pull this and that, positioned my leg, give me handle to pull and said "when u feel the contraction, push it out".

On the first contraction I pushed so hard and then when the contraction gone, I push again so many times thinking it can be done as fast as it can that way - obviously I'm wasting my energy. I have to push only when the contraction comes. I only realized that thing on my 2nd contraction. On my 2nd one, the nurse marah at me because I jerit a bit, you know..jerit like u pushing it la hahaha. She said "save up ur energy! Don't use ur voice". I was like, how to push like that? Haha sempat lagi fikir tau, sebab gap between contractions is like 2 minits apart. And on the 3rd contraction (or 4th) I push it so hard and tiba-tiba toingggggg doc put the baby on my stomach.

I was like 'Hahhhh baby dah keluar ke?'

Seriously, I don't know how to react..I know most mommies mesti cry kan..but I'm completely confused that time. Oh ya..rupa-rupanya baby's shoulder being pulled by the umbilical cord, that's why it's a bit hard for the baby the come out.

It didn't finish there, the plasenta refused to come out as well so doc has to press and massage my stomach like 5-10mins jugakla to get it out. When doc is stiching me, I asked her how long the episiotamy is, she said about 1 1/2 inches. Panjang ke? Anyway seriously, after the baby keluar mmg tak rasa sakit, sebab tu boleh borak lagi ngan doc haha.

But but but but...after stiches, SAKIT OKKK. Eeiii..I think I rather went through the same contractions again because it's only for few hours while this stiching thing lasts me for almost 2 weeks!

The newborn

MrComot didn't manage to snap pictures/record video or anything. He's too nervous and just want to be my side offering soothe word. But I'm glad because at least he gets to witness such scene.

Below is some random pictures:

The room - owl room and she was born at night. Bagus bagus..jgn suka jadi night baby sudah, mommy tak larattt

MrComot trying to 'bedong' the baby

Zahra Elena on the 3rd day - out from the hospital

On the 13th day

There is a funny story though, when we were home, MrComot told me he lied to me during in the labour room. Whenever I cringed in pain and asked him about the contractions point, he said 80-120, but actually it's only 40-60! In fact, during the last hour, the CTG already taken out from me and I didn't notice, still asking him "how much" and he simply petikkkk je cakap 100. Hahaha..tak kisah la, yg penting it helps. I just nak tergelak terer jugak dia menolong.

About the hospital, it's above my expectation, hence I really recommend it. The staff is very effective and attentive. Both labour room and ward. The nurses pun very good. That's why I didn't sleep at the hospital when Zahra admitted due to jaundice, I really trust them. Oh ya, the nurses sangat rajin and really accomodating. On the first night when Zahra keep on crying and I was too tired after feeding her for 4 hours (I think the milk keluar sikit je because I was too stress) and they keep on sending her for me to feed, that's when I decided to give her formula so that I can rest kejap, they siap offer to feed her via shringe so that she won't be nipple confused later.

Talking about milk and feeding (oh my, I really soung like a mommy now hehehe) thank God almighty, Zahra is fine with the switches using bottle and direct bf. As I mentioned before, I already fully bf Zahra (big yeay for me). Even though it is a bit late, but better late than never kan? She's still taking her own sweet time latching on me (but not that 3 hours anymore), so I have new trick now..I still pumping out my milk, so during the day everytime she's hungry it'll be direct bf, but during the night, I just warm up my milk in the fridge so I didn't have to drain myself all the time.

Thanks to a lot of my friends out there who fully bf their kids, they give me strength to exclusively bf my daughter (Tatty, Neena, Radin, and all the online mommies) and the 'supply on demand' concept is very true. I will update my sidebar link later, mommies blog & sites that've been my references.

To all friends, thanks for your prayers and I wish you the best too. Will update again!

what we shud call her?

this going to be v short as im updating using my hp n the mcro kebod is killing me. just to tell that mommy n baby doing great n today mark the 6th day i fully bf zahra elena..yeay! oh ya, we have little problem here, suddenly we dunno what to call our pwincess, zahra or elena? what do u think? i know we've been calling her zahra but since yesterday mcm tersasul panggil elena..so confused. please share w me ur thought..thanks. p/s:i still browsing ur blogs only cant comment much. see, i dont even know how to make paragraph using this phone grrrrr. so keep on blogging ya. mommy here need updates. and dun forget to cast ur vote, zahra or elena. mwahhhhhhh

The First Time Parent

Hi all,

I wanted to update about my delivery experience but later-later lah.

Anyway life has been very hectic to both of us and we are coping it, not better each day but we are trying. Thing is very different once the little one pop-out. Most of the time because we don't know what she wants! It's more like trial and error experience.

I know baby's principal is very easy, feed her-make sure the diaper is clean-tak kembung-burp her.

The thing is, I'm having problem with the feeding part. Like other mothers, I'm very enthusiastic to direct breastfeed my princess but she's taking the whole time in the world to finish one feed! By the time she falls asleep, I'm already turn into a tired and cranky lady. And tell you what, the normal feeding will averagely take me about 3 hours!

3 hours ok!

I don't know what I did wrong, is it the way I hold her, or the way she sucks, or the way the milk flow, I just don't know. Why can't she finish the feed in a jiffy, like she does with the bottle?

For the first few days it has been very stressful and energy consuming, especially when people around me keep on saying "your milk is not enough". I know it's enough only it takes a long time for her to suck it out and it's not good for both oh us - tired and cranky to get the outcome.

I failed my mission to exclusively bf her on the early motherhood due to stress and pressure but now I'm coping better, I gradually learn the way she feeds and one of the solution is to express my breastmilk. So for every feed I'll offer her the real thing first while MrComot will warm up the EBM and then feed her with the bottle (where she finish it in a blink - huhu nampak sangat kelaparan :( ), burp her and doze off. This will take us about 1 hour. Not too bad I think.. There are still few nights I made her milk from the free sample hospital gave, so I have to pump harder...

And there are also when she still crying after been fed and we don't know why. One night is because she pooped right after the feeding (and it turns out that she is back hungry, so I have to feed her for another few hours -- again), then there is a night where we thought we burped her but apparently we didn't, then last night the nose stucked up because she cries too much and we didn't buy the nasal aspirator - had to hold her until the blockage gone, etc etc. Wish the babies come with 1-2-3 manual and don't act randomly hehehe

Okla..enough of mommytalk. Anyway basically that's what happening since the first day she's arrived until today - me learning about babies.

And below is the picture of MrComot trying to burp Zahra. It was on our first night at the house and handling Zahra (kalau kat hospital the nurses do everything)



I couldn't help it but laugh and snap this picture instead of saving Zahra. Apprently MrComot is choking her, not burping her. Look at her reddish and stiffen face ha ha ha! And look and MrComot, very serious like he's doing it correctly ha ha ha! OMG sorry darling, mommy let daddy bully you.

Since that night, we change our way to burp her, by putting her on our shoulder - it is easier that way.

Okla..gotta rest before the little one latching on me - forever. Will try to update as soon as possible. U guys take care, mwahhhhh!

I miss my baby :(

As I mentioned before, Zahra is admitted in TMC due to jaundice. However I wasn't so worried before because they said it will only take 1 night. So I was really expecting her today when MrComot went to the hospital to send the breastmilk, but hubby came back later only to tell me that doctor want to keep her another night!

I was like, what?

Apparently the reading already went down (borderline is 150 and Zahra's at 120) but the paed said it is safe to keep the reading below 100, so they want to put her under that freaking phototherapy for another night and monitor her. I know the paed meant well and I trust them but I can't help it, feeling pissed off and so angry. I want my baby!!

I miss her so much sob sob..

Pics taken by MrComot when he went there

To make thing worse, I didn't go to he hospital with MrComot so I didn't get to smooch her and tell her everything's going to be alright. MrComot said he told Zahra 'mommy misses you' but it's not enough *cried*

I even had a dream this evening where MrComot bring back Zahra and she's already a toddler, can walk somemore! It's like I missed a whole chapter of her life.


God, I really hope that she'll be discharged tomorrow morning :(

Hello World!

Hye darlings!!!

How are you?? I'm doing just fine here. I think most of you already aware that my little one already see the world! Hehe.. Thank God everything went smoothly only that we are coping with the changes pretty hard - irregular times of crying, feeding, changing napkins, burping, etc. Sometimes I just don't know what to do or what she wants and feel so frustrated *sigh*

So introducing to everybody...

Zahra Elena bt Elias

Born on 10/01/10 at 11:40PM via normal delivery

Weight at 3.40kg and lenght is 50cm

Soundly asleep after a while

My first time holding her after being cleaned up. Look how big she is, I can't believe she came out from me!

Right after delivered, placed next to me with her eyes wide open

Anyway I have a lot of thing to say about the birth experiences, sleepless night with the baby and all, but will try to update as soon as possible when I'm coping better and have more time. And to tell you the truth, the reason I can update now is because my little princess is admitted in the hospital due to jaundice. Haaa and the mother is happily updating her blog ish ish ish. Anyway nothing serious, the reading is just slightly over the par (185/150) and insyAllah admission will be 1 night only (please pray for her as well, thanks)

Okla..till now, will update again. Mwahhhhhhh!

The Anxious Mommy, The Cool Baby

I've been meaning to update about a lot of thing especially on baby thing but things is pretty hay wired now because I am ready to go into labor anytime! There are so many checkups and I am at home, with my crappy lappy whom can't upload any pic due to its old age - it will hang if tried to to read my camera! There..so the real reason for no update is because I can't upload pics hahaha.

But I have to write here details of the checkups and my situation, or I'll forget.

Anyway, since I'm seeing two gyneas and both gyneas see me every week, that means I see doc twice a week. It's quite hectic for me and as I have to be there here and there.

Last week has been pretty good only that I'm starting to develop Carpal Tunnel Syndrome (CTS) where I feel needle point all over my fingers and it happens during the night. It's quite normal for preganant mommies especially during the late pregnancy where we got swollen and press the nerve. At first I thought I was allergic to something. Anyway after 4-5 days, it's gone, I don't know why and it is a relieve.

I had my first vaginal checkup last Tuesday and was surprised to find out that I am 2cm dilated! Since I don't feel anything, doc said it is a latent opening (passive), could be weeks or days or anytime, I have to watch my contraction period to confirm on it. Doc Zahna said my cervix is really soft and ripening. It's ready!

I started to have bloody show after Maghrib on Wednesday and was pretty messed up because MrComot and I were gaduh that time, bolehhh? Eiiiii..saiko sangat, we didn't have misunderstanding quite for sometimes and yesterday he's being extra sensitive because too tired with works and I was with my 'Suka hati lah nak fikir apa, malas layan!' head, so both had lunch in silence and terbawak2 sampai balik. He tried to make it up on the way back asking me why I acting so cold and all and mommy don't have mood for berbaik-baik ok! I said give me some times as I don't feel like talking hahahaha. What a day. Then the next morning terus MrComot made me air yassin ok. Hahhhh rasa bersalah la tu :P

Then I had another checkup yesterday and had another vaginal checkup, I am 3cm dilated! (This time with Doc Fidak). She's very elated to find out about it and said I could deliver anytime. She told me to come again to the hospital to do CTG this morning if I still hadn't deliver.

This morning, MrComot made me two halfboiled eggs and packed the hospital bag into the car in any case I will be admitted. We went to the hospital and did the CTG thing and alhamdulillah everything is ok, only that I still don't have contraction!

Haiyahhh...baby u still don't want to come out kah?

Anyway according to the last scan, baby is fine, the water (air ketuban) is at comfortable scale (about 12-13), placenta still doing well - not too ripe/matured, baby's head still engaged and facing down so nothing much to worry only that I have to be aware of baby's movement--> I hate this task because everytime people/doc ask baby moves ok tak, I don't know what to answer!! Because I think macam ok, but I don't know if it is enough or not. It's not like baby moves all the time u know..and most of the time I just forgot how much she moves already *sigh*

On the other note, I love to see both doctors because they like to explain a lot to me expecially about the scan thing, what I see and all, not only said "ok...everything is ok". Sometimes I feel like I am in biology class haha.

Oh ya, we also managed to see the heart, already in grape shape and can see the 4 chambers. Alhamdulillah...

Since I don't feel any contraction yet, doc recommend me to do a some exercise to promote natural labor feel

1) squatting

2) pelvic floor massage (to soften it more) --> susah ni and I give it a pass boleh?

3) nipple stimulation

Doc put 12/01/10 as new due date and might consider of inducing me if still have no contraction by that time but it will be more painful than normal labor pain as she will give me Pitocin. My body won't produce endorphin (somethings like natural morphin) as the painkillers as Pitocin won't trigger the brain for this. So I really hope that I get the contraction ASAP so it will be natural as possible, and less painful! Aminnnn...

I still having the bloody show until now, so I'm not sure how much I dilated already. So baby, please come out as soon as u can ok, mommy don't want you to be induced.

Friends, please pray for me. In the mean time, I'll try to update again! Mwahhhhhhhhh