Hello 2024

 I'm feeling whimsical.

The last time I wrote here was in 2015, so that makes it like million years ago?

I had a moment where I was for sure wanting to close this blog for good, and giving it a proper goodbye. But then, I hesitated because deep down I still journaling bits here and there on other social media platform. And subconsciously in my mind especially when I couldn't sleep. Or if I had so many things to say but it wasn't say out loud. Yes, I wrote in my mind, hoping that somehow it will by written here.

So there..that's how I know I am not ready to close this blog.

To cut it short, I'm gonna recap few major events that happen in my life before I move on writing like this space is never being abandoned. 

1) I have 2 additional girls (on top of the twos haha!) so that makes me a mom with 4 kids. Insane I know. I thought I'm gonna stop at 2 cause a couple of boy and girl seems perfect.

2) I quit my corporate job 7 years ago and that makes me a fulltime housewife. Never in my life I imagine I would be "not-working" but I've been loving it and not planning on going back to work. Although of course there is a rollercoaster emotion going on with not working (after so long working, you know?) like financial independence, boredomness, staying home dilemma, etc. Well, that's part of growth and I already make peace with it.

3) My youngest one is 2yo now and I'm already 41yo, which makes me feel like super-old mommy. It's super tiring to go through all the process again at this age - handling toddler, breastfeeding, changing diaper etc.

4) Still pretty much married and grateful for everything.

5) Have small business (or rather say money-bleeding hobby?) which is machine embroidery at @craftbeecrazy where I do machine embroidery handmade items. I won't say my stuff is super cheap, but it's not expensive either. Just something to make me think other than housework and kids, where I could have creative space and grow. It's super slow, definitely not paying bills, but it adds to my happiness bucket, which is important - cheaper than therapy session I guess. Ha!

6) I keep my circle small now. Have few close friends to keep me grounded and stay sane. 

And back to writing...

So, with the years gap, my style of thinking definitely changed (I hope to the better though). I read few my previous post when I was younger and couldn't help to feel "cringey", like, who was this woman? Sooooo.... ughhhhh!! Lost words. But everybody used to be young once. There were times when we do stupid things, or just make mistakes. As much as I wanted to erase all the silly moments, there are some beneficial one, especially where I shared about my firstborn Nephrotic Syndrome. Over the years I had some enquiry about it, so I hope it will glimmer some hope and helps to those needed. Yes, she's still here, free from the disease, Alhamdulillah. But nothing is certain is this world, so I'm still tip-toeing on every blessing. So yeah, there are bad and good posts, I think I just want to leave them as they are.

But moving forward, I am pretty much different now? Calmer and wiser perhaps? (I hope!) And my content will slightly move towards that direction as well. This gonna be a safe place for me where I can construct my thought into words and it kinda help my brain to exercise, and staying true to myself. May this journaling become beneficial to me and you. InsyaAllah!

Till then. See you later. I hope not in another 10years. Haha. Not funny I know. I miss you blog!