The Emotional Goodbye

My mom has been taking care of me and Zahra for the whole of my confinement period, and it means a lot to me. I don't know how should I write about it, because I rarely talk about my family in this blog, but I guess I can make an exception for this occasion, so that one day when I be a grandma, I can flip back and see if I can do the same.

Having my mom around is a big blessing for me as a first time parent. She boils hot water for my bath - every morning and evening, cook my lunch and dinner, wash Zahra's poop, bathe her, carry her most of the time so that I can get enough rest, burped Zahra (because I'm suck at this, I have no patience to hold upright for a long time), prepare my place to bf Zahra (give me pillow, take this, take that), sing to Zahra, stay up late to calm Zahra when she's throwing tantrums, pound the tumeric every morning for me to drink, pound coarse salt + turmeric for my bengkung session, etc etc.

Not only about me and Zahra. She's also wash our clothes (mine n MrComot using the washing machine, and Zahra's by hand), fold it, cook for MrComot as well, clean the kitchen, sweep the floor, sweep the porch, wash my bathroom, help to entertain my friends when they come visit, every little thing. I don't think I can write them all. It's just...to much to list.

So you can conclude that my confinement is kinda a very laid-back and relax one. All I do is attend Zahra for her feed, especially during the night as I sleep with her.

Yesterday was my mom's last day here, leaving me with everything, doing it alone. It is a bit tiring but not that bad because Zahra already behaving. But that's not my point, not about how I cope with the situation. My mom cried when she gave her goodbye to Zahra. I didn't blame her for being so emotional, because after all the thing she has done, I know there is a thick bonding between her and Zahra. People said first grandchild is like the youngest child to a grandparent.

The most important thing, she cares Zahra just as much as she cares about me. Even though when she's not in the perfect health or exhausted, she will always give the extra hand, so that I don't have to stress myself.

Just one thing I wonder, I don't know if I can do the same when Zahra gives birth to her first child. My mom is one of a kind. So thank you mom, sorry I didn't say it directly to you when you walk out from the house, because you were crying and I'm afraid I'll cry as well. And I still didn't say it yesterday when I called you up, because again you cried when we talked about Zahra. I know you miss Zahra so much. InsyaAllah I'll try to balik kampung as much as I can. I can only thank you in this space, and thank God for giving me such a wonderful mother.

I have to end this entry abruptly as it will become too emotional to me. However this remind me of Aris Ariwatan's song - SATU

Satu, kasih nan abadi, tiada tandingi, DIA yang satu

Dua, sayang berpanjangan, membawa ke syurga, kasihnya ibu

Tiga, lapar dan dahaga, rela berpayahan, setianya ayah

Empat, mudah kau ketemu, berhati selalu, beza antara kasih dan kekasih

Yup, kasih ibu never cease till heaven.