Friday, January 10, 2014

The Terrible 4

Just a little rant, today is already 10th Jan and I've pictured in my mind before that I'll start to write about wonderful things in 2014, my wishlist and whatnot. Flowers and sunshines.

But.. life is not like that. It's unpredictable and you can't have everything your way. So yeah, I started my 2014 with lots of mundane colors. The kids were unwell (they are better today, Alhamdulillah), Zahra refused to go to school and she will cry every morning saying "Zahra tanak mommy workkkkkk!!!", Emir been vomiting every day..not the serious one though, just when he cries because of the phlegm, both refused to eat (which I find very irritating and devastating at the same time). Sigh... I never imagine my first week of new year can be this challenging.

Ok...so after the stressful nights and the slapping incident, I decided to cool down and reflect myself. The kids didn't make it easier though. Zahra still crying crying crying most of the time. Not exactly crying..u know, merengek, buat bunyi aaaa..aaaa..aaaaaaa..macam menangis but not really crying. So irritating!! Every little thing tak kena. If MrComot makes her milk, she said tanak daddy buatttt..nak mommy buatttttt! Then after I buat, tanak panassss nak sejukkkk. Then after I sejukkan sikit, nak panas sikitttttttt. After dah panaskan balik she will say tak cukup tangannnn nak pegang botol susu. Haishhh u know la..it never ends.

But I grit my teeth, hold my breathe and do the slapping scenes in my head only. Not on her. I succeed so far and very proud of myself (haha! ok not funny).

Back to the main thing, I just found out that there are this condition called Terrible 4!!!! I never heard of it. I mean, terrible 2 ye la..but terrible 4 pun ada?

You’re neck deep in the 4’s.  It’s sound a bit ridiculous at first.  I mean how much grief could a pint size kid give you?  You quickly find out.  At the age of 4, children have developed enough speech skills to communicate what they want, and don’t want.
Suddenly your child, who used cry when they were unhappy and could be consoled with a hug or a time out, can talk back.  Those looks you’ve mastered are now falling onto blind eyes.  They are defiant, testing and smart! Books say that children at this age should be testing boundaries.

Full article can be found here: -http://negotiationboard.com/the-terrible-4s/

And yes, the hardest time will be when we parted at school. She will cling on my neck and refused to let go and cryyyyyyy and said "Zahra tanak mommy workkkk" repeatedly.

I reasoned, bribed, promised, threatened, semua tak jalan

Mommy have to go to work
Mommy tak payah pegi workkkk (wailing)
Kalau mommy tak work, macam mana mommy nak beli kinder surprise
Biar saja..Zahra tanak kinder supriseeeee (wailing)
Ok but we still need food to eat
Biar saja..tak payah makannnnn (wailing)
Nanti boss mommy marah
Biar saja...zahra nak duduk dengan mommyyyyy (wailing)
Ok Zahra you have option either I go nicely or I just leave u here just like that
Zahra tanak mommy pegi workkkkkkkk (wailing and pulling my dress)

Ada one time she hits me ok, because she was so disappointed. So now tell me, how am I supposed to go to work..happily :(

Anyway, the article knocked me some sense and I've been calmer ever since..no more raising voice, no more angry face, and no more hitting of course. There got some tips there. Go read it!

Ohh sometimes how I wish I just quit my job and stay at home with the kids. But..I'm not there yet. Maybe soon, 2-3 years time. Just a maybe though. Sigh..




2 comments:

  1. Aan,

    Zahra sebaya dgn Aydin. Lagi, Aydin bakal dapat adik. Perangai dia - macam Zahra jugak. Ada saja tak kena. Ada saja menda yang dia nak mengada-ngada. Mcm2. Lebih kurang Zahra. Tapi lagi berat kot sbb nak dpt adik, kan? Maybe, betullah teribble 4 tu. Kdg tu, hilang sbr. Kdg tu, rasa mcm putus asa betul. Tapi nak tak nak, kena layan jugak. Hoh!

    Salah satu reason np sy masih tak hantar Aydin ke skool - dia dan sy msh belum ready nak tgl n di tinggalkan. Hopefully semua ok.

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  2. Fara,
    Tadi pagi kitaorg discuss, Zahra macam tak ready pegi school lagi kot. Tapi..kalau hantar pegi babysitter, dia macam boring pulak. Lagi satu..kitaorg dulu kononnya nak hilang kan stress jem, now stress lain pulak. Ntah la macam mana...tunggu lagi 2-3 bulan, kalau tak ok jugak, maybe kena tukar plan lain :(

    Skrg Fara tengah sarat lagi la tak larat kan...mmg dia akan mengada-ngada sangat. Hang on k..u can do this! Jgn stress2 sgt..enjoy the moment baby dlm perut sbb nanti dah keluar, berkuntau kuntau u nak handle hehe

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