My youngest sister posted this compilation of Zahra in her fb this morning. Yes darlings, Zahra turns TWO!
Anyway we didn't have a good night last night, let alone to celebrate it. Zahra was so stubborn and keep on crying because I scolded her throughout the night. Kesian dia, emotionally bruised on her birthday. I was so strict with her last night because my judgement was clouded with the babysitter's report. She said Zahra too degil. So I macam marah dengan Zahra pulak because being stubborn. It is so wrong! I have to dig out why she acting like instead.
Sorry sayang, mommy was so hard last night. I siap pukul hanger at the pintu and you know la how loud the sound is. Pang!! Terkejut Zahra but she didn't stop crying. Instead, lagi kuat dia menjerit nanges. I was so upset. She supposed to be scared and stop crying. So stubborn.
But I have to remind myself again, stubbornness will be negative trait if you don't manipulate it to be positive. And this also remind me with 'The Nanny' show (not the Nanny Fran, but new one - a reality show how the nanny save the insanity in family), being a mom is not about competing with your kids, who is more in control. It's about understanding and supporting each other.
After a tiresome drama (and my little princess slept with tears), I woke up this morning with calmer mind and change my trick. Instead of scolding her when she cries for something, I soothe her and manipulate the situation. Like this morning when she wanted to BF, I said 'kejap..Emir nak minum dulu, kesian Emir dia kecik lagi', she was so mad and throw tantrum (I think partly because she slept in anger last night), so I change it to, 'Zahra big girl kan? Zahra jaga Emir..haa cepat pegang Emir..sayanggg Emir'. Magically, dia terus stop menangis and lie down next to Emir and rub Emir's head.
Apparently the tantrum is about control, and all she wants to be is, to be in control.
This is another phase I need to tackle. Mommy will try my best ok, sayang?
Last but not least, happy birthday my little tottila!! Mommy loves you very much. I planned to make a proper birthday bash (about a year ago), but little Emir came into the picture, so mommy tak larat lah.. we'll have a small celebration with mommy and daddy only ok?
Again, mommy loves loves loves ya!