Tuesday, June 25, 2013

One of the days..

I had this gastric attack few weeks ago which is really weird because I've never had gastritis after my last treatment in 2006. It was very bad that I vomit every 2 hours even when there is no food in the stomach, up to an extent I thought I am pregnant!

But I know I am not, so I went to see the doctor.

It started well, telling her that I got stomach pain, been vomiting like crazy, did some pregnancy test which came out negative and suddenly I burst out crying. Right in front of the doctor.

I don't know what came into me but I just feel like crying. I feel so weak and so in pain. And I feel so hopeless because I am in pain. You got me? I hardly fell sick it the sickness is making me so upset.

Started from the stomach pain, it has become a psychology session. I am on emotional turmoil and been pouring down my life to the doctor.

I told her that I am so tired with my life right now. With all the traffic jam and all. So basically this is how our life every day.

7-am : send the kids to babysitter, go to work, reach around 830 - 1 1/2 hrs journey
630 pm : pickup the kids, go back home, reach at MIL's around 8pm - another 1 1/2 hrs journey
have solat, dinner, feed the kids dinner
930 pm : go back home
10 pm : readied the kids..sampai rumah je they want to play first. then brush teeth, wash up a bit, clean myself, pray and stuff, it's almost 12am before we hit the sack.


Then it hits me that I am freaking tired of it.

I don't think that we have quality life anymore. I want a life where I get to be on the bed with the kids at 10pm max, read them story book, or teach them quran during maghrib. A simple life but fulfilling.

Then I even mention that I've been breastfeeding for 3 years non-stop, not that I feel it's a burden, it's just I am so tired.

I tried some multivits and supplement, but it just doesn't work.

Weekend is fine because I call up the weekly maid to clean up the house, so basically I don't do any house chores, it is just I am so tired with the weekdays routine. I want to do more in my life than being a robot, you know.

The doc keep on giving me tissue paper and smile "I understand. I've been there too. With 2 small kids"

Then the session goes on and on and she concludes that I got the gastric because I am stress! Apparently the more stress you are, the more acidic your stomach will be. Hahahaha.

Ok..so we discuss my problem, brainstorming ideas to how to tackle it, to make my life better, etc etc.

She gave me an MC for me to go shopping to wind out my mind. But I spend the whole day sleeping! How I wish I can go shopping but my stomach still hurt very much that day.

Anyway the next day, I woke up fresher than ever. I know what I want in my life now!

To get a maid!

Hahaha. Ok seriously, I am considering to have a maid. I can't afford to reach home at 10pm anymore and be a zombie.

Or maybe I should quit my job and be a full time housewife. That will be my most wanted job!!! But deep inside I still tak berani. I still want to work and make money. Sigh. I know, selfish. Double sigh.

God..show me the way!


  1. Aan,

    Klu sy jadi awak, saya akan berhenti kerja. Heheheheh....lagipun, Mr.Comot nmpk lebih dr mampu.

  2. Fara, takdela lebih dari mampu. I still have my own loans to pay. Ptptn..etc. :(

  3. Soalan buduh but seriusly me tatau tu sbb me nak tanya...

    if tak pi rumah MIL, boleh tak?
    Sbb me pun tak berapa gemar pi rumah MIL pada malam kerja sbb sure lepak sana sampai pkl 9++, balik rumah dkt pkl 10 dan end up semua masuk tido lepas pkl 11. dgn nak bgn pam susu pkl 3, Elia nak nyonyot 2-3 kali sebelum subuh lg...

    er.. so... bleh ke?
    lunch tapau lauk. balik rumah terus masak nasi... siap mandi solat semua then makan sama-sama. by 9:30 bleh main dgn anak... 10 totop lampu... pkl 10:30 you dah free bleh buat kerja rumah skit-skit apa yg patut...

  4. Tatty, tak buduh la..docter tu pun tanya soalan sama hehe.

    Me have my own concern kalau tak pegi, first my MIL mmg insist us to go sbb mmg dia masak utk semua. Second kalau tapau, me rasa tak best sbb we have option to eat healthily (home cooked) tapi me gedik nak tapau la pulak. So mcm me cant provide good stuff to the family. Kalau me sempat masak, me ok, tapi mmg tak sempat ngan nak balik menyusu lagi.

    And one more, tiring journey nak pick up kids etc. Me plan nak try dulu maid, kalau tak ok, tgk lah mcm mana nnt

  5. come and join the SAHM!! hehe.


    btwy, can you try amek unpaid leave and see how it goes when u just stay at home?

  6. i think i agree with tatty, try the no MIL first.
    But for me, having a maid is really a blessing. :)

  7. Ain, I wish!!! Unpaid leave is impossible here unless u have strong case. With current management lagi, mcm a bit susah.

  8. Fiena, despite of the MIL thingy, I think I don't want to send the kids to babysitter anymore

  9. how about you & family stay dgn MIL? rumah sekarang boleh sewakan or weekend you balik your house. ni cara my colleague, dia & husband kerja KL rumah kat Semenyih... :-)

  10. kalau boleh berhenti kerja..tapi sebelumberhentikerja aan kena buat list hutang dulu...dan gunakan bakat anda utk cover bayaran hutang tu...mesti boleh aan...

    mr comot ckp ape bila aan citer psl ni dekat dia..kotla dia rekemen amik maid..;)

  11. Eeda, thanks! But stay with MIL is a no-no hehe. Plus they don't have extra room for us ;)

  12. Maria, MrComot cakap, kalau nak berenti, berenti.

    Haha..but I tak berani la. Takkan I nak suruh dia bayar hutang I kan? But we definitely are talking about this issue and looking for alternatives. Tengah usaha lagi :)

  13. La ni me dok buat masak selambak, masuk tapawe, reheat bila perlu.

    ada lah 2-3 jenis lain utk dipilih.
    balik masak nasi, sayur dan panaskan kuah jer.

    huhuhuuhuh... pemalas.

    OR... try lauk simple... paprik ayam... kari telur kecebur, gulai ikan talang nenas... simple jer...