One of the days..

I had this gastric attack few weeks ago which is really weird because I've never had gastritis after my last treatment in 2006. It was very bad that I vomit every 2 hours even when there is no food in the stomach, up to an extent I thought I am pregnant!

But I know I am not, so I went to see the doctor.

It started well, telling her that I got stomach pain, been vomiting like crazy, did some pregnancy test which came out negative and suddenly I burst out crying. Right in front of the doctor.

I don't know what came into me but I just feel like crying. I feel so weak and so in pain. And I feel so hopeless because I am in pain. You got me? I hardly fell sick it the sickness is making me so upset.

Started from the stomach pain, it has become a psychology session. I am on emotional turmoil and been pouring down my life to the doctor.

I told her that I am so tired with my life right now. With all the traffic jam and all. So basically this is how our life every day.

7-am : send the kids to babysitter, go to work, reach around 830 - 1 1/2 hrs journey
working
630 pm : pickup the kids, go back home, reach at MIL's around 8pm - another 1 1/2 hrs journey
have solat, dinner, feed the kids dinner
930 pm : go back home
10 pm : readied the kids..sampai rumah je they want to play first. then brush teeth, wash up a bit, clean myself, pray and stuff, it's almost 12am before we hit the sack.

Every.single.day

Then it hits me that I am freaking tired of it.

I don't think that we have quality life anymore. I want a life where I get to be on the bed with the kids at 10pm max, read them story book, or teach them quran during maghrib. A simple life but fulfilling.

Then I even mention that I've been breastfeeding for 3 years non-stop, not that I feel it's a burden, it's just I am so tired.

I tried some multivits and supplement, but it just doesn't work.

Weekend is fine because I call up the weekly maid to clean up the house, so basically I don't do any house chores, it is just I am so tired with the weekdays routine. I want to do more in my life than being a robot, you know.

The doc keep on giving me tissue paper and smile "I understand. I've been there too. With 2 small kids"

Then the session goes on and on and she concludes that I got the gastric because I am stress! Apparently the more stress you are, the more acidic your stomach will be. Hahahaha.

Ok..so we discuss my problem, brainstorming ideas to how to tackle it, to make my life better, etc etc.

She gave me an MC for me to go shopping to wind out my mind. But I spend the whole day sleeping! How I wish I can go shopping but my stomach still hurt very much that day.

Anyway the next day, I woke up fresher than ever. I know what I want in my life now!

To get a maid!

Hahaha. Ok seriously, I am considering to have a maid. I can't afford to reach home at 10pm anymore and be a zombie.

Or maybe I should quit my job and be a full time housewife. That will be my most wanted job!!! But deep inside I still tak berani. I still want to work and make money. Sigh. I know, selfish. Double sigh.

God..show me the way!

Emotional Princess

Had this situation last night, when we picked the kids up from babysitter: -

Zahra was drinking plain water from the water bottle and she's been sharing with Emir for quite some times, forgot to buy one each. Emir wants to drink as well, so I request Zahra to give it to Emir. Normally she will just give it to her little brother but yesterday tanak. Mati-mati tanak. I dah pujuk macam-macam pun tanak.

Emir was already crying that time.

I said elok-elok:
Kesian Emir, Emir dahaga..nanti dia nanges lama-lama tekak dia berdarah
Kesian Emir, Emir kan adik kecik Zahra. Zahra tak sayang Emir ke.

I even bribed her:
Zahra, kalau Zahra bagi Emir, mommy beli bekas baru kat Zahra, kaler pink, cantik!

Pun she refused to budge and get angry.

Lastly I was so fed-up and I threatened her:

"Ok, Zahra tanak bagi Emir, mommy taknak cakap dengan Zahra. Mommy cakap dengan Emir je"

Then I sit quietly at the co-pilot seat and she's behind sitting next to Emir, still holding her tumbler tightly.

After a few minutes of silence, I turn my head and casually ask Zahra about her daily life at the babysitter's.

Mommy: Zahra...Zahra buat apa dekat rumah mak hari ni?
Zahra: Mommy tanak cakap dengan Zahra. Zahra sedih tau (while making sad face)

I was like, whattt? WHAATTTTT?

That came out unexpectedly and I was so surprised. Tak sangka my princess is sensitive and pick whatever I said. I mean, I thought she will just brush it off since she ignores everything I said earlier.

And I find that it's so clever of her to feel and said those stuff. For a 3 year old kid.

I quickly grab her and rub her back and apologize to her and told her that I won't be mad again and I will speak to her. Then she quickly give the tumbler to Emir and exclaim happily:

"Mommy! Tengok Zahra dah bagi Emir air."

Haish la anak. I think she just got jealous with Emir...well one of the days. Time really flies and she's becoming more mature now. Whatever it is, she'll be my small baby, always.

I Love You Daddy!

This year is the 3rd year MrComot being a dad and he's playing his role well. He helps me raise the kids, not only by providing materials but also involves with their developments. He plays with them, talks to them and take good care with their well being and emotions. Sometimes I even feel that he spoils the kids a lil bit. 

Anyway, we made this handmade card for MrComot last weekend. I wanted to make a special and nice looking card but couldn't fit the time so I was thinking, well, it doesn't has to be perfect, as long as something from his loved one and it will be better if something from his own child!

And since Zahra lovessss menyibuk with my craft stuff so it's a good combo for me, make something for MrComot and do some craft activity with Zahra. Killing two birds with one stone. And it's also an excuse for me not to cook, I mean, hellooo sorry darling, I'm busy playing (or homeschooling!) your daughter ok. So today is my break haha. That'll be 3 birds! Ok..enough merepek.

So I let Zahra loose with the scissors, glue, blings, papers and stuff. I let her choose all the color she wants, trace her hand, cut it out, cut a heart out of felt, glued them altogether and guide her hand to write all the wordings.

She chose green as the hand then busy cutting other paper. I wanted to scream when she pulled out my nice teal and pink card-stock and cut them into pieces, but why spoil the moment. So I just let her.. gunting je laaaa Zahra. She said she's making a gift for her friend Isya. Oh ya, I haven't tell you yet, she has an imaginary friend now named Isya. They go to Giant together, buy vitagens, go to school and stuff. And recently, Isya gotten married and have a baby, so that's why she's making the present. O-o-o-o-kaaayyy!

 

Teaching her how to use glue 

It's a star shaped sequins 

Done! I asked her to post with the card for daddy and she gave me this cheeky face.

Happy father's day to my favourite man! You've been such a wonderful father that I couldn't have ask for more.